Rev. Warren J. Keating, Pastor of the First Presbyterian Church of Yuma, AZ, says that the best prayer he ever heard was: "Lord, please make me the kind of person my dog thinks I am."
A Woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.
"What Denomination?" Asked the clerk.
"Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well give me 50 Baptist and
50 Catholic ones."
On a very cold, snowy Sunday in February, only the pastor and one farmer arrived at the
village church. The pastor said, "Well, I guess we won't have a service today." The farmer
replied: "Heck, if even only one cow shows up at feeding time, I feed it."
During a children's sermon, Rev. Larry Eisenberg asked the children what "Amen"
means. A little boy raised his hand and said: "It means - 'Tha-tha-tha-that's all folks!' ">
Bill Keane, creator of the Family Circus cartoon strip tells of a time when he was
penciling one of his cartoons and his son Jeffy said, "Daddy, how do you know what to
draw?" I said, "God tells me." Jeffy said, "Then why do you keep erasing parts of it?"
My wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to our six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"
I wouldn't know what to say," she replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," my wife said. Our daughter bowed her head and said: "Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"