PASTOR'S RESUME

Gentlemen, 1 understand your pulpit is vacant and 1 should like to apply for the position. 1 have many qualifications. l've been a preacher with much success and also some success as a writer. Some say l'm a good organizer. 1've been a leader in most places I've been.

I'm over fifty years of age. 1 have never preached in one place more than three years. In some places I have left town after my work has caused riots and disturbances. I must admit that I have been in jail three or four times, but not because of any real wrongdoing. My health is not too good, though I still get a great deal done. The churches I have preached in have been small, though located in several large cities. I've not gotten along well with the religious leaders in towns where I have preached. In fact ,some have threatened me and even attacked me physically. 1 am not too good at keeping records. I have been known to forget whom I have baptized.

However, if you can use me, 1 shall do my best for you.

Signed in love,

THE APOSTLE PAUL

(origin unknown)