While marriage is a God given covenantal relationship, we see a major move away from this institution in contemporary society.  The consequences of entering into a divorce can be staggering.  Self esteem, as well as both mental and physical health can suffer.  We must make a careful investigation into this area of people's lives, to see why it  occurs and what should be done about it, according to Biblical precepts.

First we must remind ourselves of what God intended for us as human beings in marriage, so that we can be the fully functional people He intended us to be.

Genesis 2:24  Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

This passage clearly shows that as we mature, we are to seek our own companion and make a life with that companion, taking on the responsibility to be successful at it.  We are not supposed to be "hangers on" that sap the energies of our parents.  God's command stating "Be fruitful and multiply..." becomes a requirement that is now passed along to us, and in turn, will be handed on to the next generation.  Let us look at how the New Testament comments on this too, keeping the husband's and the wife's sexual lives in the forefront.

1 Corinthians 7:5  Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

Here is  warning to couples concerning their sex life.  They are not to refrain from, or withhold from each other, a healthy "coming together" except for the time of a woman's periodic "uncleanness" during menses.  This is also telling them (us) not to look elsewhere, but to use the time for additional prayer and fasting!!!

The sexual union is a most powerful part of our human relationship, and should be held in a place of honor.  If this is not the case between husband and wife, trouble is sure to follow, in the form of various temptations to stray from the covenant that was made.  Likewise, if the sexual union is not kept within the sanctity of the marriage covenant, it becomes a mere plaything and tool of animalistic endeavor.

Husbands and wives must also be attentive to the areas of respectful love and sexual activity that they should share, according to the Divine principal.

3  Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
4  The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

If you are concerned about this emphasis, please remember that dysfunction in this area is the number one cause for people seeking outside attention and finding themselves in the marriage counselor's office, lawyer's office, and ultimately in a divorce court.  You are free to disagree, but take a good look around you and clarity can soon come.

Contemporary society is fraught with a host of overemphasized sexuality.  You know those catch phrases.  You see the trial marriages, "significant other's", live in's, and other deviant behaviors.  You know how much our educational institutions are paving the way to a "free society" which can be "un-bound from the archaic rules that suppressed people for so long."  When is the last time you saw an advertisement, that didn't include some manner of sexual over/under tones?  Think about how this affects people - and works on an individual's inner most being.  Consider also, what the pornography industry is doing to our world today.

We are witnessing a total removal of the ethics and morality that has been taught through the Judeo-Christian ethics of life, concerning families.  And as a result we are seeing three major events:

1. The tearing down of the covenant of marriage.
2. An ever increasing number of divorces.
3. A hurting, confused society based on Godlessness and sexual depravity at all age levels.

In this free wheeling, fast paced world of  "I want it right now" psychology, taking time to prepare for true maturity and its responsibilities is being lost.  Small wonder then, that what the Bible has to say, becomes less and less important to many people.    But what does it say?   Well it does and does not say what many people claim, and as confusion or some alternative applications come into play, it is no small wonder that so many people simply choose not to be bothered about looking into the matter.  Thank God you are not one of those people - you are still here reading and able to learn.

We must also understand that men love to be better interpreters of the "word" (Bible) than the devoted scholars, teachers and ministers who have come before us.  This is an area of deep concern.  Countless lives have been either severely harmed or ruined, because traditions are more important than the Biblical truth.   Many churches, homes and even  Denominations suffer in this area, and contribute to such pain and suffering.  Let us delve into this immediately.

03748 twtyrk k@riythuwth ker-ee-thooth’  from 03772; TWOT-1048a; n f
AV-divorcement 3, divorce 1; 4
1) divorce, dismissal, divorcement

It is very clear that the term is given to us in the Old Testament, and that it is a legitimate term.  Also very clear is that it denotes a clear ending of something.  It is in fact, the direct opposite contractual agreement of marriage.

In contracting a marriage in the semantic countries (but not exclusively there), certain steps had to be taken, which included a dowry and certain rights for both the male and female.  This in turn resulted in a "betrothal" which was but a mere step away from actual culmination of the marriage.

However, from there, a verbal contract between the betrothed parties, in public, with a priest officiating, and witnesses, finalized and legitimized the final step of the marriage covenant.  Then, upon consummation of the "taking" of the bride, proof of her virginity was offered before the ceremonial events were completed.   If all went well, there was a new family who would beget the next generation.  However, if something went amiss before the above mentioned finalizations took place, a divorce was inevitable.

Now if after a passage of time, the man found some sort of disfavor with his wife, he could "put her away" or divorce her. See some scriptures relating to this, and the rules that governed the people of that time.

Deuteronomy 24:
(1)  When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.
(2)  And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man’s wife.
(3)  And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth  it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife;
(4)  Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.

As can be seen from the texts, divorce as such was not prohibited.  But, we can also see who had discriminatory powers, and also that with one exception, remarriage was also permitted.   We will be delving into these areas  more deeply in a few moments.  But first, please grasp the understandings our brethren from ages back, lived under.   The marriage covenant was also contractual, and in a sense - even a prenuptial agreement could be seen.

What we need to do now, is to scrutinize the word uncleanness.  For it is in this area that most of the contradictory teachings have their roots.

06172 hwre ‘ervah er-vaw’  from 06168; TWOT-1692b; n f
AV-nakedness 50, nakedness + 01320 1, shame 1, unclean 1, uncleanness 1; 54
1) nakedness, nudity, shame, pudenda
1a) pudenda (implying shameful exposure)
1b) nakedness of a thing, indecency, improper behaviour
1c) exposed, undefended (fig.)

While most of the word's meanings are easily understood, the one of improper behavior must become a very notable factor to us.  The reason is simple - it is the interpretation that opened the door to abuse of wife and authority.  It is also the opening of a door that led to gross misrepresentation of what God intended for the marriage during the lifetime of the people involved.  Improper behavior you see, could and did become an easy excuse to use when a man had other than honorable, let alone sacrificial intentions for his wife. In a slogan then - one could say "burn the porridge - burn the contract."

All a man had to do, was to accuse his wife, write out a quick note of divorcement, and the poor woman was out the door and on her own.  Get her dowry back?  Good luck!  About the only thing a man had to be the least little bit concerned about is that at some later date, he might decide he wanted her back, and the chances of that were probably not that great.

There is a potential catch to this scenario though - and we shall see it addressed also in the teaching of Jesus in the New Testament.  You see, the proper dissolving, or nullification of the marriage, had to be more formal than a mere hand written "putting away" piece of paper.  A  formal, duly witnessed legal instrument, was needed.   In that particular eventuality, another formal contract was used.  In it were certain conditions and even some rights for the woman, such as the right to re-marry someone else, were included.  Unfortunately, since a woman had virtually no one to champion her cause, this did not always occur.  It became then, a venue of spousal abuse.  A woman could be put away, or in reality, thrown out of her home, and if perchance she began to live with another man, she could conveniently be accused of adultry and consequently stoned to death!

The battle of the sexes was alive and well as Jesus ministered.  As a  result, King Herod ended up in a marriage to Herodius, his brother's ex-wife.  No lesser authority than John the Baptist denounced the situation publicly and as a result, was executed.  Powerful people can and do exert major ploys, in order to justify and at times, attempt to hide their indiscretions in remarkable ways.

Now we must remember that Jesus was not at all a popular figure when it came to the religious authorities of his day.  As his ministry grew, he was seen as a major treat to the status quo.  The consequences of that situation were in part, a continual barrage of Rabbinical ploys and attempts to discredit his teachings.  The situation of marriage and divorce certainly offered some opportunities to test him and how he would apply his theology.

Matthew 5:28  But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Here we must first address the fact that we are reading the Greek translation of the words Jesus used.  As you will soon see, there is a major difference between this particular term and another that is so closely related to it.

3431 moiceuw moicheuo moy-khyoo’-o  from 3432; TDNT-4:729,605; v AV-commit adultery 13, in adultery 1; 14
1) to commit adultery
1a) to be an adulterer
1b) to commit adultery with, have unlawful intercourse with another's wife
1c) of the wife: to suffer adultery, be debauched
1d) A Hebrew idiom, the word is used of those who at a woman’s solicitation are drawn away to idolatry, i.e. to the eating of things sacrificed to idols

As can be readily seen, there is no doubt whatsoever about what the term adultery means and how Jesus applied it.  What should also be noted is that the interpretation of the word cites a male offense.  How fitting it is as we remember the authority and power men had in those days.  We must also remember that a woman could also be deviant in this arena, as were the temple Prostitutes of the day, in other religions.  Jesus really had the handle on this entire situation.

But we must also go a bit farther to see that adultery is not the only word that Jesus used in explaining all that can be involved in this issue.  What would that be you ask?  We must add the Greek word Porneia too, for without an understanding of it, we cannot arrive at the proper understanding of what Jesus was referring to in his statement containing the exception clause. Let us address it at this time.

Matthew 19:9  And I say unto you Whosoever shall put away his wife , except <1508> it be for fornication and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery

1508 ei mh ei me i may from 1487 and 3361; ; conj
AV-but 53, save 16, except 6, if not 5, not tr 1, misc 1; 91
1) if not, except, but

Here is clearly stated that there can be an exception to the norm as it was understood in those days.  And we should immediately see why as the passage below shows.

Matthew 19:8  He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

Moses allowed divorce because the people were so hard hearted.  But Jesus is showing clearly that what was transpiring was not acceptable, because the law was being violated, and without good cause!!  Now we must look again at the exception that Jesus was commenting on.

647 apostasion apostasion ap-os-tas’-ee-on neuter of a (presumed) adj. from a derivative of 868; ; n n
AV-divorcement 2, writing of divorcement 1; 3
1) divorce, repudiation
2) a bill of divorce

Moses had taught that a specific legal document was to be used when a man wished to divorce his wife.  This meant she would have specific legal rights, which were being circumvented.  As a result, a woman would be hard pressed to maintain herself in any manner that could be considered normal.  She would have to live alone, virtually penniless, and have no real hope of finding another husband she could be married to and derive comfort and safety with. Once again I must point out the words put away.

630 apoluw apoluo ap-ol-oo’-o from 575 and 3089; ; v
AV-release 17, put away 14, send away 13, let go 13, set at liberty 2, let depart 2, dismiss 2, misc. 6; 69
1) to set free
2) to let go, dismiss, (to detain no longer)
2a) a petitioner to whom liberty to depart is given by a decisive answer
2b) to bid depart, send away
3) to let go free, release
3a) a captive i.e. to loose his bonds and bid him depart, to give him liberty to depart
3b) to acquit one accused of a crime and set him at liberty
3c) indulgently to grant a prisoner leave to depart
3d) to release a debtor, i.e. not to press one’s claim against him, to remit his debt
4) used of divorce, to dismiss from the house, to repudiate. The wife of a Greek or Roman may divorce her husband.
5) to send one’s self away, to depart

The language is clear.  Both the OT word kereethooth and the NT apostasion are defined the same way, so there can be no doubt about the meaning of divorce in either Hebrew or Greek.  We are dealing then, with a reality that was in existence before, during and now after the times that Jesus walked the earth. What we must reconcile then, is why Jesus would make and exception to the long standing rule of divorce and remarriage.

202 porneia porneia por-ni’-ah from 4203; TDNT-6:579,918; n f
AV-fornication 26; 26
1) illicit sexual intercourse
1a) adultery, fornication, homosexuality, lesbianism, intercourse with animals etc.
1b) sexual intercourse with close relatives; Lev. 18
1c) sexual intercourse with a divorced man or woman; #Mr 10:11,12
2) metaph. the worship of idols
2a) of the defilement of idolatry, as incurred by eating the sacrifices offered to idols

Please examine the definitions most carefully!  For here is the bottom line of understanding why Jesus would, in some exceptional cases, allow for a divorce, with the understanding that the divorced party would then be free to marry someone else. What a person needs to understand is that the word porneia is not limited to, but includes the word adultery.  But never, can the word adultery include the other sexual sins just read.

Jesus then, clarified that if conditions were present that would cause or force a person to live an unnatural relationship, they could become freed from that.  In other words, if a man found himself married to a promiscuous woman, a lesbian, or one who indulged in bestiality, a divorce would be acceptable.  Of course the converse is also true.  One would not have committed adultery with another person per se, would they?  Porneia then, is sexual uncleanness for more than one  cause.

Perhaps now, you can understand more clearly how the Apostle Paul taught about marriage in 1 Corinthians 7.  You should read his renderings very carefully - especially the parts about the unbelieving spouses and how there can be a freedom from a current situation and a remarriage.

One may ask if there has ever been an example of God Himself recommending a divorce?  Look below and study some more, being careful to ask for the Divine Guidance that can only come from the Holy Spirit, as was the case with the prophets of old.

Jeremiah 3:8  And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.

2 Peter 1:20  Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation.
2 Peter 1:21  For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost.