¶ Love is never tired of waiting; love is kind; love has no envy; love has no high opinion of itself, love has no pride; 5 Love’s ways are ever fair, it takes no thought for itself; it is not quickly made angry, it takes no account of evil; 6 It takes no pleasure in wrongdoing, but has joy in what is true; 7 Love has the power of undergoing all things, having faith in all things, hoping all things.

In this rendering of scripture, we do not see anything mentioned that could be interpreted as sexual. What we do see, is what equates to the Greek word "Philos", which is to be understood as "Brotherly Love" which is supposed to be the ideal condition of all human beings, regardless of age, creed or philosophy. We could say that this is a most utopian view of life that is really nonexistent; what with all of the divisions of peoples in the world who are continually "warring" against each other in one form or another. It has been so since one brother (Cain) murdered his brother Abel in the land East of Eden; from which their parents had been sent as a punishment for the original sin they had committed in the Garden of Eden which was their first home. This act of murder was indeed the Genesis (beginning)of human warfare, for violent physical death had not been known before the murder of Able.

Since Eden has been mentioned, it would be good to now explore the secular and human uses of the word love more deeply.

LOVE

1. Sexual love between husband and wife. The Greek word for this part of love is "Eros". We think in terms of erotic and/or sexual behavior do we not? It begins when two people become aware of each other in a manner beyond the brotherly love we have seen above. There is a strong physical attraction and need for sexual involvement and satisfaction. Most likely, it is begun in the male who is noticing the attractiveness of a particular woman. She may or may not be "beautiful" physically as beauty is portrayed in the media today. But it can just as easily be a noting of inner beauty. If it happens to the woman first, it can also be a physical attraction, but more likely is some emotional admiration of the man's talents or degree of education which equates to his being a potentially good provider and protector. In either case, the normal result is a mutual attraction bewtween the two, which normally would lead to courtship and physical intimacy. Hopefully, this will be as a result of a marriage ceremony first, but in today's world it is not always the case. Many a couple indulge in "free love" and non commitment, and others sometimes become known as "common law" couples. That is to say, they live together, have children, but never take the time or make the additional commitment and benefit of a marriage ceremony - and thus - their children may be considered as "bastards" by some, who would use ignorant terminology in place of common sense. That is a harsh equation of course, since there is an attempt by the couple to live an orderly life-style and the children do know who both of their parents are.

2. Maternal Love is the love of a woman for her children. To be honest, no man can ever fully understand this love. Why? Simply because he can not know how a woman feels within herself when she learns that "Yes, I'm pregnant and will carry and give birth to a child." He can not understand the emotions and physical effects she goes through during the gestation period, nor can he understand the bonding that is taking place, nor can he relate with perfection to the "post partum" syndrome that follows. That is exclusively a female matter of faith, physiological and psychological conditiions that is exclusively feminine. There are a number of situations that can enter into the woman's being that can cause deviations from what should be the norm in rearing and later "letting go" of that child as time and maturity evolve into the "leaving of the nest" so that another family may come into existance. The emotionaly healthy woman will fare well, and go on to enjoy seeing that grown child go out and then contibute to the world. She will the enjoy becoming a grandmother. If she cannot do so, problems of varying degrees of seriousness can also develop. The woman who cannot or will not bear a child misses a most important part of her "womanhood."

3. Paternal love is different. A man is the hunter/provider of the family. At least he should be under Biblical rules. He should be able to feel secure in knowing his wife loves him, trusts him, and looks to his leadership. While a man can show tenderness to his wife and children, he is usualy seen as the sterner and gruffer of the parents. Often as not, he is the more remote, or inaccessable parent due to his absence from the home as he works one or more jobs in order to be the provider, and relys on his wife to do the greater part of the child rearing. The additional role of the husband is to be the protector of the family, and role model of leadership for his children. As they grow to maturity, they can go on to become adult, caring spouses and parents who will carry on the family values, and as is the case of the male children - the family name.

4. At this juncture we must also consider the term "Platonic", as it also relates to the aforementioned love between men,women and children. It is in this area that a great deal of misunderstanding, lying and manipulation can be found. It is as you will see below, a secular, philosophical term, rather than a biblical one.

PlatonÆic loveÆ, (according to the dictionary).

1. Platonism. love of the Idea of beauty, seen as terminating an evolution from the desire for an individual and the love of physical beauty to the love and contemplation of spiritual or ideal beauty. 2. (usually l.c.) an intimate companionship or relationship, esp. between two persons of the opposite sex, that is characterized by the absence of sexual involvement; a spiritual affection. [1635–45]

Do you see the difference in the kinds of love we have been dealing with? Allow me to offer some insight into this secular area. The first definition Webster's Dictionary offers is anything but religious. Rather, it is touching on selfishness, disguised as some desirable state of mind for an individual, eliminating the need for fellowship or what the Bible would teach to be normal behavior. You may question this at first, but you will see shortly that my statement is accurate.

Webster goes on to add, perhaps as an after thought, that there can be a love between a man and a woman that goes into an area that eliminates any sort of "sexual involvement." It goes on to say that it is a "spiritual involvement" only. Shall we investigate such an ideal?

Let us look at how Webster defines love as you can see below: love .(luv), n., v., loved, lov·ing. –n. 1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. 2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend. 3. sexual passion or desire. 4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart. 5. (used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love? 6. a love affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour. 7. sexual intercourse; copulation. 8. (cap.) a personification of sexual affection, as Eros or Cupid. 9. affectionate concern for the well-being of others: the love of one's neighbor. 10. strong predilection, enthusiasm, or liking for anything: her love of books. 11. the object or thing so liked: The theater was her great love. 12. the benevolent affection of God for His creatures, or the reverent affection due from them to God. 13. Chiefly Tennis. a score of zero; nothing. 14. a word formerly used in communications to represent the letter L. 15. for love, a. out of affection or liking; for pleasure. b. without compensation; gratuitously: He took care of the poor for love. 16. for the love of, in consideration of; for the sake of: For the love of mercy, stop that noise. 17. in love, infused with or feeling deep affection or passion: a youth always in love. 18. in love with, feeling deep affection or passion for (a person, idea, occupation, etc.); enamored of: in love with the girl next door; in love with one's work. 19. make love, a. to embrace and kiss as lovers. b. to engage in sexual activity. 20. no love lost, dislike; animosity: There was no love lost between the two brothers. –v.t. 21. to have love or affection for: All her pupils love her. 22. to have a profoundly tender, passionate affection for (another person). 23. to have a strong liking for; take great pleasure in: to love music. 24. to need or require; benefit greatly from: Plants love sunlight. 25. to embrace and kiss (someone), as a lover. 26. to have sexual intercourse with. –v.i. 27. to have love or affection for another person; be in love. 28. love up, to hug and cuddle: She loves him up every chance she gets. [bef. 900; (n.) ME; OE lufu, c. OFris luve, OHG luba, Goth lub$; (v.) ME lov(i)en, OE lufian; c. OFris luvia, OHG lub$n to love, L lub"re (later lib"re) to be pleasing; akin to LIEF] —Syn. 1. tenderness, fondness, predilection, warmth, passion, adoration. 1, 2. LOVE, AFFECTION, DEVOTION all mean a deep and enduring emotional regard, usually for another person. LOVE may apply to various kinds of regard: the charity of the Creator, reverent adoration toward God or toward a person, the relation of parent and child, the regard of friends for each other, romantic feelings for another person, etc. AFFECTION is a fondness for others that is enduring and tender, but calm. DEVOTION is an intense love and steadfast, enduring loyalty to a person; it may also imply consecration to a cause. 2. liking, inclination, regard, friendliness. 21. like. 22. adore, adulate, worship. —Ant. 1, 2. hatred, dislike. 21, 22. detest, hate.

As you can see, some 26 examples are given that one can elude to. And not to be missed is the very bottom of the rendering after we see the synonyms. For at the end is the antonym and the direct opposite of all that is to answer the lack of love! In short then, the simple Bible based explanation of love has become an area of confusion. Somewhere along the line, words and gestures can become blurred in the minds of people, and tremendous pain and distrust may easily enter into the relationship of humankind of all ages. In short, the secular description of the word attempts to cover all bases on an intellectual plane, but cannot simplify what love is, as does the Bible. In other words, neither secular understanding or philosophy can improve on what the Bible teaches us about the subject.

Let us go a step farther to prove just how deceitfully the terms love and platonic love can be. You may be amazed at how many difficulties can arise, or simply dismiss this study as mere hog wash, but if you sincerely seek for truth, it is here to be found.

God provided long ago for the degrees of love that have already been outlined. He did so for a purpose. That purpose was to provide for us degrees of companionship and love that would ensure a stable and happy relationship for all of humankind. But as was the case from the very beginning. Humans, once sin had entered into their being, found multitudes of problems. Many, if not most, are based in the areaof sex, or its misuse.

The wife who does not keep the Biblical standard set for women and uses sex as a weapon to gain what she desires at a given time, often is a domineering, self-determining and selfish person who literally adulterates her marriage and often causes her husband to seek "solace and love" elsewhere. To Adulterate you see, is not limited to the sexual act commonly known as adultery.

a·dul·ter·ate .(v. à dulÆtà r!tÅ; adj. à dulÆtÃr it, -tà r!tÅ), v., -at·ed, -at·ing, adj. –v.t. 1. to debase or make impure by adding inferior materials or elements; use cheaper, inferior, or less desirable goods in the production of (any professedly genuine article): to adulterate food. –adj. 2. adulterated. 3. adulterous (def. 1). [1580–90; < L adulter!tus mixed, adulterated (ptp. of adulter!re), equiv. to ad- AD- + -ulter (perh. comb. form of alter other; see ALTER) + -!tus -ATE1] —a·dulÆter·aÅtor, n.

In times long gone, a man could easily dismiss his wife with a bill of divorce for any of the dictionary reasons and then some. She may not have been a good lover, housekeeper or cook, and it was "bye bye lady, you're gone!"

In today's society, we have the term "incompatible" as the key word in getting a divorce, whether it is sought by the man or the woman. How about that for an improvement on an old theme? Hardly. It is simply using a legal maneuver to geasily gain an advantage or agenda. Lest there be any question, the very same goes for the male of humankind.

No matter what the situation, marriages do fail, and the sociological decline history has shown to us, proves that it is the internal breakdown of people's morals that causes so much havoc, and eventually, the fall of a nation from greatness. A healthy marriage is God's plan to stabilize the human condition. It can be seen as a miniscule nation.

There are also some other terms such as "relationship", "trial marriage" and as was mentioned earlier, the "common law" marriage". How successful are they? I'm not sure that anyone can put forth absolute data since so many of these relationships pass into oblivion without being recorded beyond "word of mouth." How much "love" of some sort is involved? I must say God only knows." Do I accept that there can be a valid "Platonic love?" People, use some common sense and logic please. If the people who claim to co-habit and maintain a platonic relationship, as do many at various sicial levels and ages, I must hold that relationship as circumspect. I tend to see these as relationships of hidden fornication. Human Nature dear reader, does not relent. It is against the very normal biological and psychological make-ups of those humans. Perhaps such a relationship can be had by "near" relatives such as cousins or the elderly who are without the ability or desire for sexual activity for some reason or reasons, but beyond that ---.

4. Deviant love. It is here that many will cry out that this study lacks love for humans at some alternate level. For those of lesbian and homosexual discipline, the cry for equality of status with heterosexual people is a particularly offensive attitude. Their bodies are distinctly male and female. They can perform as heterosexual people. Many lesbians actually become pregnant and sunsequently give birth to children who are normal in every respect. They choose not to indulge in sexual gratification as they have been born as either a male or female. The difference in these people is not physical, and does not come from a situation other than deviant rearing (up bringing) and questionable psychological conditions. Science has yet to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that these people are born that way. How do they become a lesbian or homosexual male? BY CHOICE! The reasons can vary, but usualy involve painful experiences at the hands of members of the opposite sex. It can come as a result of childhood experiences and abuses or even from having been incarcerated for a period of time. To me, it is a particularly sad condition, and I do not hate these people, but rather, pity them. I acknowledge that there are occasional genetic problems that occur, such as the hermaphrodite. What I am addressing here is the vast majority of "alternative lifestyle" people who do not have such a problem. The same holds true for the alleged bisexual people, who play in the fashion of those destroyed by God in Sodom and Gomorrah.

5. Unfulfilled love This is undoubtedly one the saddest of conditions. It is a condition that can, and often does, lead to a great deal of sadness for the indiviuals themselves, and also those around them. These are the people who are normal in their needs and desires for the companionship, sexual and spiritual communion God intends for most of us to have in our lives. Some fall deeply and honestly in love with someone who is already married. Some are already married, but fall in love with a single person. Other find themselves married and in love with another already married person. The reasons that these things can happen can include instability in the home, separation due to professions, military service, war, age differences, physical illness, religious differences, psychological problems, incompatibility in faith and combinations of those already mentioned. There are also those who find themselves "alone" by reason of a spousal desertion or death. And some, simply cannot perform sexually and would rather face loneliness than subject the person they find themselves in love with to an incompleteness in that area of marriage. In each case, we have a human being who longs and needs to be loved, but finds only emptiness.<\p>

6. Predatory love Yes you are seeing this section correctly. You may ask how on earth I could label something in this manner? Consider what follows very closely. Let us first consider the male who becomes known as a "womanizer." This man, for reasons of his own selfishness, seeks out lonely woman and uses them for a period of time to gain satisfaction sexually, egotistcally, and often financially. He is the Gigolo, male escort and male stripper we encounter. Naturally, we must also consider his opposite - the woman who becomes the stripper or erotic dancer, or even the prostitute. As is the case with the already studied deviant behavior people, similar reasons prevail. Some must prove their desirability and sexuality to themselves and the world at large. Others simply satiate themsleves for "the fun of it and the money." We should always be wary when we encounter new people, and examine their motivations and actions. Harshness and cruelty should not be our forte though. Common sense and caution should always prevail however.

7. Agape love.

This Greek word Agape for love is the highest and purest form of love that exists.

Agape- (in Greek written ?????; pronounced "ah-GAH-peh" or "AH-gah-peh") is the Greek word for divine, unconditional, self-sacrificing love. Greek philosophers at the time of Plato used it in a way that suggested a universal, as opposed a personal, love; this could mean love of truth, or love of humanity. The term was used by the early Christians to refer to the special love for God and God's love for man, as well as the self-sacrificing love they believed all should have for each other. It is a prominent term in the works of C.S. Lewis.<\p>

Here then, is defined the love that is described in 1 Cor. 13 4-7. It is not a love of manipulation, bargaining, self indulgence or any of the other, perhaps lesser meanings of love that are a part of this study. You may ask if there are contemporary evidences of such love? My answer is as follows. There can exist examples in the religious and humanitarian records of a number of saints, and also in the names of Sister Teresa and Albert Schweitzer. One must consider those known as missionary people. And of course there are other examples that we would not hear of. There are those who love in profoundly deep, sincere acts of agape love through the practice of medicine such as the emergency care people, or the police and firemen who so valiantly served during the terror of the "911" tragedy in New York City. There are those who work in Hospice and elder care venues.

And lastly we must consider secret loves. These belong to people who find themselves in love with someone, yet cannot, or do not allow their love to be known openly, lest harm and pain come into play for the one they love. They silently suffer a loneliness few could ever understand.